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The Best and Worst Beards will Battle It Out

PIttsburgh, PA – – Playoff beards are the new normal in the NHL. Everybody grows one whether or not it looks good for the team. It’s a unifying exercise but just like all things in life some wear it well and some, well they just don’t. These beards are heading into the Stanley Cup. Here’s my list:

  1. Joe Thornton – Jumbo Joe has no equal. He started around “Movember” and his is awesome.

“With beards you just have to start them and they just get big and here you are. There is a lot of maintenance with oil, etc.”

2. Brett Burns – Burns wins the overall because he’s included the man bun in his new look. Joe can’t pull off that look but this is a beard ranking so Burns came in a close second.

3. Justin Schultz – Schultz has his entire neck line covered. He gets points for the fullness of his beard.

4. Bryan Rust – He has a good looking rug on his face. It’s full and luxuorious.

5. Chris Tierney – Tierney is proud of his beard. He really lobbied for this even though he couldn’t have known about the ranking.

“I don’t think I’m top five but I think my beard has gotten a lot better. I think mine is better than Zubrus’s. I think mine is fuller than Couture’s that’s why I think I’m in the top ten.”

Here are a few of the worst:

  1. Logan Couture – He knows it’s bad and wishes it was better. He’s gotten heckled about it.

“A mom in St. Louis said her 16 year-old son had a better beard.”

2. Marc-Andre Fleury – It looks like a “Van Dyke” that took a wrong turn.

3. Patrick Marleau – He has too many thin areas. He never took care of it he figured it would do it all by itself.

Joe Pavelski just missed the good list. His is a bit light so it doesn’t photograph well.

Martin Jones has some promise but he’s spending way too much time on goaltending and not enough on his beard.

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