“Reach out. Check in. Make contact.” 

That’s the motto of the HT40 Foundation’s annual Shoulder Check Showcase. The foundation and the event’s cause are to help those in need who are struggling with mental health and to prevent the ultimate tragedy from occurring: someone taking their own life. 

Rob Thorsen knows the heartbreak of that tragedy all too well, as his son, Hayden, took his own life in May 2022, at the tender age of 16.

“If you made a list of a thousand people, Hayden would’ve been 1,001 on that list of people who anyone was worried or concerned about,” Thorsen explained. “And when he passed, a lot of people sort of reached out and asked the common question, which was, ‘now that Hayden’s gone, who’s gonna do what Hayden did for us when he was here?’ And it just took us a quick minute to realize that Hayden, in his time with us, was the hand-on-shoulder guy. 

“He was the person who looked after his friends. He checked in on people. He was the teammate who put a hand on shoulders. He was the classmate who made people laugh. He was the kid at the party who wondered, ‘Where’s this guy or this girl? Are they doing okay?’ And he acted on that. He checked on people. I think it just took us a minute to realize that’s the role that he played in so many people’s lives.”

It’s always those you least expect. And the fact that Hayden was always there, checking on his friends, made it harder to stomach. However, it was Hayden’s approach, reaching out and putting a hand on a person’s shoulder, that in turn led to the formulation of the Shoulder Check Showcase.

“We just kinda had this idea, which is like an answer to that question, ‘Who’s gonna do what Hayden did now that he’s gone?’ And the shoulder check is the answer to that,” Thorsen said. “The basic principle or the idea behind it is, we might not know who needs a hand, but we all have a hand to give. And we’re just out there encouraging people. It’s our tagline: ‘Reach out. Check in. Make contact.’ 

“We’re just trying to encourage people to check in on one another. If you go a level deeper on it, there is this thing that’s happening in the world, where we’re suffering this crisis of loneliness and isolation. So, we hope our idea can just help kind of bring people closer, back together, in a real and meaningful way. A literal hand on a shoulder. That’s sort of the genesis of the idea and how it’s spun into the Shoulder Check how it is today. 

“Just like all my son’s friends wanted to be a part of making something positive in Shoulder Checks, so was my son’s hockey world. He was a pretty good hockey player. And the world of hockey turns out. Hockey is an amazing sport like that. I think everybody in the sport recognizes the tremendous sacrifice it takes to pursue the goal. Therefore, I think everybody recognizes an opportunity to support one another is part of the culture. 

“At the same time, my professional world, which is advertising, and my wife’s, all those folks came out and said, ‘We wanna help.’ So they started to create the idea on paper. The hockey world was coming out saying, ‘We wanna be a part of this too.’ Gary Zegras and Trevor got involved and Ben Prentiss at the gym. Guys like Brett Pesce and Chris Kreider got involved. And with that, we just said, ‘Let’s launch this thing with a charity hockey game.’ That happened in August of 2023.”

That game, which is now in its fourth year, has evolved into a full-scale event that has brought a community together and helped fill a void for a family that will likely never get the answer it sought.

“50,000 people a year kind of come to that final decision,” Thorsen explained. “They’ve walked 50,000 different paths. Everybody’s had their own life experience. But I think, within that, there are certainly archetypes, one of which is the person who carries what they’re carrying a little more in silence. Maybe doesn’t have the ability to articulate what it is they’re feeling. And unfortunately, that path leads to more questions than answers. I think part of this whole journey is having to come to terms with that.”

Coming to terms with such a tragedy is not, nor will it ever be, easy. But Thorsen, Gary Zegras, Ben Prentiss and Company are building something that is making a difference.

“It’s all down to them too (the participating NHL players),” Thorsen said. “(Them) equally wanting to be a part of this. I think what we’ve tried to do is create something that sits at the perfect time on the hockey schedule. Guys are back to training around this time of year. Probably not on ice, like, conditioning, but are just starting to turn the corners, starting to look to the season ahead. 

“Hopefully, most of the guys get their vacations in and they’re back to kind of getting ready. So, in that way, it’s cool. It hits a little sweet spot in that way, which is lucky for us. There’s no other time of year we could do it. What’s developing is, a lot of the guys who come out for the game, half the roster now has been there every year since we started. All those guys are a part of this. We’re doing this together. 

“It’s kind of become something that a lot of them look forward to and it’s fun. It’s getting everybody back together. Some guys, they’ve now been on a team or two in The League and they’ve got teammates. Trevor (Zegras), for example, some of the Ducks are still coming back again this year. So it’s like they get to get back together again and have a moment. 

“The guys will all go to the gym, they get workouts, they get some good rounds of golf, kind of thing. But it’s like a thing now in that way, too, where it’s, we’re doing this together and they’re as much a part of it as anyone. That’s frankly why we’ve had as much success with it as we have, is because these guys, who are role models, are willing to volunteer their time and be a part of this. It’s pretty incredible. I think about it all the time. It’s incredible that they’re up for it.”

Incredible indeed and in more ways than one. Yes, getting hockey players together can be challenging, but Thorsen and Company have really grown this game into a multi-faceted event. 

This year, for the first time, they are playing at Sacred Heart University after outgrowing their previous arena. They’ve made it into a “festival.” A live band called The Zambonis will be performing. The Hockey Hall of Fame is putting together a trophy display and exhibits for the fans. NHL team mascots like Gritty and The New Jersey Devil are part of this. 

It’s all about building a community where anyone can lean on another person at any time to get the help they need before things potentially spiral. And it’s about getting people to reach out, whether they know the person is having trouble or not. Because a lot of things can be prevented by simply being proactive. 

Thorsen’s son Hayden was a goaltender. His jersey now hangs at Ben Prentiss’ famed gym. He used to be the one to reach out and check in on people. Now, it’s everyone else’s turn to keep his spirit alive by checking in on those around them. 

“The main message is, we may not always know who needs a hand, but we all have a hand to give,” Thorsen said. “Ultimately, that’s what this whole thing’s about. It’s about creating an opportunity for everybody to come out and enjoy community and the spirit of the event and leave feeling like they’ve had an uplifting experience. 

“That’s the point of this event. That’s the point of the idea. And ultimately, it tracks back to the very thing that my son did when he was here with us. There’s power in that. There’s power in that interaction. And the more we can create of that, I just think there can’t be anything bad about it.”

In the event’s fourth year, 20+ NHLers are expected to be in attendance, including: Trevor Zegras; Chris Kreider; Adam Fox; Brett Pesce; Spencer Knight; Matt Rempe; Shayne Gostisbehere; Shane Pinto; Will Smith; Ryan Leonard; Mason McTavish; Cutter Gauthier; JT Miller; Pavel Dorofeyev; Matty Berniers; Frank Vatrano; John Hayden; Gabe Perreault; Alex Lyon; Domenick Fensore; Nikita Nesterenko; Matt Coranato; Drew Fortescue; Sam Colangelo; Danila Yurov and Tony DeAngelo.

For more, check out their website https://www.shouldercheck.org/ and remember to “Reach out. Check in. Make contact.”